Beautiful Ugly Truth & Me
Who am I?
My name is Becky and I’m 24. I graduated from the University of Bath in 2018 with a First class degree in Sport and Social Science. Since then, I have done research into the field of mental (ill) health, and completed a Postgraduate Certificate in Counselling Children.
Outside of academic life, I have had a passion for sport my whole life. I fell in love with netball as a young child, and quickly realised I wanted to go as far as possible in the game. Over the years it has given me so much – incredible opportunities, amazing memories, and lifelong friends. I’ve played at University, Regional, and National level, and have had the honour of representing my country at U21 and senior level in the up-and-coming version of the game, Indoor Netball/Nets.
All sounds great, right?
It is. But, behind all this, there is a truth that has affected every element of my life for years.
So, here is born, Beautiful Ugly Truth.
My truth is that I have experienced multiple mental illnesses since my teenage years. They have been there every single day. Some periods are easier than others as the illnesses are quiet and less intense. Other times they have been incredibly difficult, near impossible to manage.
‘They’ are Major Depressive Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and PTSD.
I hear your confusion. ‘This truth sounds ugly. What makes this truth beautiful?’
The illnesses themselves are ugly. They are beasts that tear me up internally. When I first experienced them, I hated every single bit of them. Even to this day, when they are at their most intense, I despise them and feel so angry they have chosen me.
But, what I can see in times of clarity is that the horrors of the illnesses have made me, me. They have taught me things little else could, and changed my outlook on life in its entirety.
More than this though, it is the talking about the truth that is beautiful. At first I hid my illnesses from pretty much everyone – I lived a lie and excelled at wearing a ‘everything is great’ mask. But, by talking to my partner, family, friends, teachers, lecturers, therapists, mentors, doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, and even strangers, the power of the beast has diminished. Sharing my story, discussing similar experiences with others, and asking for help, no matter how much voice has shaken, has ultimately saved my life. And that is what makes the most ugly truth known to me, truly beautiful.
The aims of Beautiful Ugly Truth
Beautiful Ugly Truth has been created as a means to share my story. There is power in being open about the truth, and I want to turn my pain into something positive. I share how mental illness has affected my life, the lives of those around me, and how I overcome them on a daily basis. If sharing my story helps one person get the support they need, makes them feel less alone, helps them support a loved one, or makes them realise their own potential, it will be worth it.
See what others have to say
I feel so lucky to have received excellent response from young people and members of staff at schools, colleges, universities, and sports clubs that I have visited.
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